In Vietnamese families, the ‘sandwich generation’ isn’t new

Today, that sandwich is growing. Around 1.5 million Australians are thought to fall into this group, and as our population ages, that number is only set to increase.

For many people, the term is highly relatable as it perfectly describes the squeeze they feel —the competing demands, the emotional and financial pressures, and the sense of living life stretched.

But for many others like me, it’s a new and foreign concept.

Not because the same pulls and pressures don’t exist, but because caring for both the older and younger generation concurrently was always part of the plan. Being ‘sandwiched’ wasn’t something that suddenly snuck up on me in midlife. In a Vietnamese family, it’s something you grew up to expect.

In my case, I’m also the eldest of three, and from a young age I knew the responsibility this carried. In culturally diverse families like mine, the oldest takes the lead when it comes to caring for parents; ours is not an equally shared-load model like the one often found in Western contexts.

Life for me now sees me wearing many hats. I’m an executive with a demanding role in the care sector. I’m a wife and a mother of two children aged 14 and 11, both with busy schedules and full lives. And I’m also the primary carer for my mother.

My mum lives with us. She’s still relatively young and independent, but language barriers mean I am often required to act as her translator and advocate in day-to-day life. In many ways, I’m her executive assistant. I manage her appointments, her banking, her superannuation, and her medical paperwork.

Only when I can’t manage something, do I call on my brother and sister for support. I’m lucky I can do this and feel thankful that my siblings are willing to share the load because in many families, that support isn’t guaranteed.

Up until recently, I’d never considered the role I play as caregiving. It was simply what I did because it was expected of me. However, I now realise that I’ve long been an unpaid carer – and that this role has been a lot to carry.

But I’m not alone. Research shows women make up the vast majority in the sandwich generation, accounting for around 91 per cent. And many of these women also have paid jobs.

Through my own experience and my work in the care sector, I’ve learned that workplaces can play a huge role in how manageable these responsibilities are.

If we want to support the millions of employees caring for multiple generations, there are three easily implementable things organisations can do that have the potential to make a real difference.

Acknowledge that cultural expectations differ

Employees from culturally diverse backgrounds may carry very different care responsibilities at home. It’s important that employers proactively acknowledge this with employees where it might be the case. This works to create a safe environment where people can speak openly about these expectations and the commitments that come with them.

Offer real flexibility

Depending on the type of role, if someone has proven they are capable and trustworthy, they shouldn’t be locked into a 9-to-5 workday, where the role doesn’t necessitate it. Having flexibility around hours allows employees to manage both family and professional responsibilities effectively. Women with caregiving responsibilities need to be able to flex work around their life and be trusted to deliver in their role. This is incredibly important.

Lead by example

When leaders and managers openly prioritise care responsibilities, whether that’s picking up a sick child from school or attending a parent-teacher interview, it normalises these realities for everyone in the workplace. People shouldn’t have to pretend their lives outside work don’t exist. They shouldn’t have to pretend that work and home life are mutually exclusive.

So, would I change my situation? No, I wouldn’t. The benefits of multi-generational care are vast. My children grow up with their grandmother in their daily lives, learning the patience, respect and quiet wisdom that older generations often pass on. So, care flows in both directions. I would, however, like to see those from culturally diverse backgrounds like me given greater visibility in the workplace for our unique sandwich of circumstances and care responsibilities. While multigenerational caring may be my cultural norm, the squeeze is no less.

And when workplaces acknowledge that reality, with flexibility, understanding and trust, it makes it far easier for people like me to show up fully, both at work and at home.